Redeeming and being redeemed.

I tend to break a lot of things. I don't know if it's habit or a brain deficiency or just plain clumsiness, but it certainly is a flaw. My family and housemates are patient with me. Though they surely cringe inside when they hear the familiar shattering, they don't seem to mind too much. We all have the things we forgive in others, and I'd like to think this is one of mine.

Usually, you throw something away once it's broken. But every once and awhile there'll be something that you cherish--something that holds great meaning that you can't seem to let go of. So you get out the super glue and hope for the best. If you are lucky, you will be able to find all the pieces and put them back together. Some pieces may be beyond repair, and you have to do the best you can with what is left. Either way, you put great effort into mending the beloved object, and you are so thankful that you are able to redeem the essence of what it was that you don't mind the sight of cracks or the fact that it may never be perfect again. It's yours and you love it, cracks and all.

Sometimes I feel like I have been pieced back together like this. I have been broken, shattered against the realities of a careless world. My jagged edges have been glued together with all sorts of messy bandages, some which have worked better than others. I have grown and changed and rearranged the parts of who I am, sometimes trading the pieces, sometimes leaving them behind. And so here I am--art in the making, a perfect imperfection that doesn't always make sense.

Often, we feel as though our pieces are barely holding together, threatening to fly apart under the pressure of living. Particularly in our twenties. In these years, everything is changing all the time everywhere, everyday. It's as if the universe got too excited and couldn't wait for the rest of us to catch up. It's quite uncomfortable and frightening, realizing that we are not the people we thought we would be at this time. Realizing that control seems out of our grasp, and the firm hold we felt we had on who were and what we knew of the world were the first things to go.  The pieces are there but that's just what they are--pieces.

But: "There is a crack in everything---that's how the light gets in." 

I am certain that if there is one thing that this life is about it is redeeming and being redeemed. We need our pieces,  all of them, to be made whole. We are a mosaic of experiences, each important in forming who we are and who we will be. And we are healing. We have our cracks, our rugged edges and even the pieces we aren't sure will fit. There are days we walk through the fire, sure we will be reduced to ashes by the challenges that seem too difficult to bear. But we aren't. We are stronger. We are ourselves yet so clearly changed, and we wonder at the process of it all.

And so we move forward, broken, healed, and beautifully redeemed.

The lifer.

Working at Mont Lawn Camp is the hardest job you will ever love. Many people come in and out summer after summer, but the ones who stay are truly special at heart. We call these people "lifers"--and my beautiful friend Danielle Goncalves is certainly one of them.

Danielle has worked at MLC for eight summers. I cannot think of anyone else who loves our inner-city kids more than she does. She has seen campers grow up into counselors, into adults who are making a difference in the world. These kids are family to her, and they know it. They know she cares for them, they know she is there for the long run. They know they can count on her--she never fails to be gracious, compassionate, and accepting of who they are, where they are. She is passionate and committed, proving to her campers that there is nothing they could do that would ever make her give up on them. 

Because of how much she loves and believes in camp, Danielle has brought many people into the MLC family through the years. Her husband Isaac is one of them. After getting married (at camp of course), they moved to New York to begin Mont Lawn City Camp--a new program that serves the community year-round. Though they have faced many obstacles, God has proved faithful over and over again within their ministry and life. Their vision for this program is full of hope and light--and despite discouragements they have never turned back. In fact, their hard work has proven fruitful, as they are about to open a community youth center in the South Bronx this year. I know without a doubt that they will continue to bless the kids and families within this borough, and absolutely cannot wait to see what God has in store.

As if she does not already have enough on her plate, Danielle is also getting her Masters in Clinical Social Work. I am beyond proud of her! Though she hesitated to become a social worker, her special gifting with children and her heart for this population prompted her to apply and be accepted to this strenuous program. It is such a privilege to hear Danielle talk about what she is learning and the kids that she gets to work with day in and out. She puts everything she has into her work, and her love and respect for those she serves is incredibly evident. I know that the kids can feel that love, and I am confident she is a blessing in every setting that she encounters. 

I also have the great honor of calling Danielle my friend. Throughout my four summers at camp, Danielle and I would meet early in the mornings by the lake for coffee and prayer. These are some of my dearest memories from MLC, ones that I constantly refer to when I need encouragement or reminders of God's love. We have been through so much together, and she has never let me walk through the darkness alone. Holding my hand and my heart, she patiently sat with me through some of my hardest moments, loving me through the pain and standing with me on the journey. She is an irreplaceable part of my life, and I could not love her more.

Danielle is an MLC lifer--but she is also my lifelong friend. I know that no matter where we are or what is going on, she will always be there with a cup of coffee and a ready prayer. It's so exciting to think that I will be moving to NYC and get to live life with her once more, and the
thought of getting to be a part of Mont Lawn City Camp as a volunteer brings so much joy to my  heart. I love you Danielle!!! Thank you for being a lifer.