the God who sees me.

There is a story in Genesis about an Egyptian slave named Hagar. She didn't have a lot going for her. In fact, looking at her story in whole, she basically had nothing going for her. She served two of the biggest celebrities in the Old Testament--Sarah and Abraham--so it's no surprise that her story often gets pushed to the side.

Most people find Sarah's story to be the fascinating one. You know, how she was barren for so many years only to have a child in her ripe old age. In fact, she named him Isaac--which in Hebrew translates more or less into "laughter". She thought it was so hilarious that God would grant her a first born when she was ridiculously old that she felt it appropriate to give him a name that expressed her sentiments. And sure, I guess it's kind of a big deal. A miracle, if you will. And so her story gets talked about the most. Which is fine.

But there is another story there that is of equal importance. Before Sarah ever got pregnant, Hagar was the first to bear Abraham a son. Actually, this is where her trouble began. Since Sarah could not conceive, it was Hagar who was sent to Abraham in an attempt to carry on the family line. Fertile woman that she was, she had no trouble getting pregnant and eventually giving birth to Abraham's son, Ishmael.

This made Sarah mad. Because even though it was her idea in the first place, what barren, old woman really wants to see the hot lady concubine be the one to start a family with her husband? Not Sarah. And so Hagar was mistreated. Which is understandable, but incredibly unfair. She had no control over the situation--this is what being a slave meant. She was there to serve, relinquishing all rights not only as a woman, but as a person as well. 

Eventually, Hagar couldn't take it anymore. She fled to the desert (despite being completely pregnant and void of resources), hoping to escape the brutalities of Sarah's despise for her.

Except God had a plan. He knew how important Hagar's son would be--how important Hagar was to the story. He commanded her to go back, but not before promising that her descendants would be "too numerous to count."

And in the midst of the pain and suffering and hopelessness, this promise brought Hagar life. She knelt, right there in the middle of the desert, pregnant as can be, and declared:

"You are the God who sees me."

Damn.

I don't know about you, but if I was in this situation, I would be hard pressed to be praying any kind of thankful nonsense like that. She was shit out of luck. She was pregnant,  alone, and most likely scared as Hell. Sarah hated her, baby daddy  Abraham already had a wife, and she was a SLAVE. Sure, it was a miracle that Sarah got pregnant. But Hagar? She was the miracle. All that faith and love and wisdom wrapped up into one really crappy life. And through it all--she found solace in the God who saw her.

I think this is the beauty of who God is, though. He sees us....He really sees us. He sees our pain. And I don't think He stands in judgement over how we carry it. I think He bends down low to meet us, to carry us through the hardships that this very cruel world can unjustly bestow upon our shoulders. He looks at our shame and bitterness, and He feels great love. He feels compassion because He is the God who sees.

And you know what, I think part of the way God sees us includes the omission of how we often see ourselves. He doesn't see the failure that we so readily claim as a part of our identity.When He looks at us He sees who we were meant to be. Our potential. Our worth. He sees love and hope and promise. Where we see a lack of importance He sees infinite worth. And it's His desire that we see the same.

He sees the pain and believes the promise. And because of that you can trust again--you can rest knowing that He knows you. He stands in awe of you. He never belittles the hurt and always remains faithful.

He is the God who sees you.

May you be able to see the same this holiday season.