surprises and gifts.

I think one of the most beautiful things about our day to day existence is that we never quite know what is going to happen from one moment to the next. Most people fight this sense of chaos, the pull of uncertainty and change. We want control, we want to be masters of predictability.

But so often, the power that comes with choosing leads us down the wrong path.

And then, when we are least expecting it, heaven gives us something sweet and surprising, full of goodness and almost always unexpected truth. Something we never would have asked for or looked for or even acknowledged by ourselves. Something that is so needed, deep down in our soul, something that strikes us to the core and rattles us into new life.

I'm learning to embrace these unprecedented moments.

I have spent such a long time thinking about what it is that I desire/want/expect, when all along the pieces of my life puzzle have been put together in ways I never imagined, but always needed.

When I signed up to be a mental health counselor, working with homeless men from NYC was not exactly in the cards for me. I  could not imagine a more unlikely, unusual job for a 25 year old female from Virginia. And yet, here I am, two years later--convinced that I was exactly where I was supposed to be and incredibly grateful for what it grew in me in the process.

You see, working with these men taught me things I could never have learned otherwise--it taught me strength and community and how to stay when all I wanted to do is leave. It taught me the importance of standing up for what is right and that I always, always have a voice. It gave me more gifts than I could ever possibly count and than I ever could have expected and I sit here today in both awe and humility that I got to be a part of something so sacred.

Surprises can be like that sometimes--sacred and full of mysterious authenticity. I wonder at how a situation can be so wholly healing by complete and utter accident, but then I remember that it is often not I who made the plans to begin with, though I surely did try.

And thank God for that.

So, what surprises have landed on your doorstep? I'm here to tell you to take them. Embrace them, because they could be your greatest gifts. When you see something pure and good and totally undeserving, take it because that is a gift for you, and we don't know when it will come around again.

And when something happens to you, hard and tragic and potentially soul crushing, remember: there may be a surprise in that too. This does not take away the sting, the blurry tear-filled eyes and the aching heart. But there's always a gift to be given, and a gift to be received. Don't let your sorrow take you too far from the path of hopefulness--pain is a cumbersome package but you never know what you'll find inside unless you look.

Be surprised, take the gift, and hold on tight. Tuck the moment safely away as a keepsake, something to remember and something to push you forward when you have forgotten how to get to where you are going.

And if you don't know where you are going, good.

The right gift usually finds its owner.

And the surprise is always worth the suspense.

After all, when was the last time you heard someone say they hated their surprise party?

Because I am of the opinion that if we look hard enough and learn to accept what comes our way, life can be just that--

a surprise party waiting to happen.