suffering and common denominators.

Life is mostly pain, and what you decide to do with it. There are some other things mixed in too, love...sometimes hope. But mostly, we suffer. It's the great common denominator of life.

Suffering.

You may not experience it as strongly or intensely as the next person, but it's there. I don't know what form your pain takes or how exactly it impacts you, it's different for everyone. Pain is personal like that. I remember my first supervisor telling me that you can't measure people's pain, that it can't be quantified because what's painful for you may not be as painful for him or her or them. But it's theirs nonetheless, and it weighs just as heavily as yours, even if you don't understand it.

Someone recently asked me why there is suffering in the world. The question was really a round about statement, laced with bitterness and a sense of "what's the point". And truly, this is a question for the ages. We have all sat, numb and listless, staring into the vast, emptiness of sorrow wondering how in the hell we ended up here. Wondering, if life was really worth it after all.

After all the let downs.

After all the injustice.

After all the sickness.

After all the death.

Is it still worthwhile?

Still possible to maintain?

Still meaningful? 

Can we endure the suffering and reach for hope, no matter how excruciating it may be?

I think this is the question.

For some people, their heartbreak will always be there.

There are some wounds this side of heaven that will never be whole.

But there is also infinite joy.

Not necessarily happiness, because we all know happiness is fleeting. But a deep sense of pride, an experience of unbridled joy that comes in the form of emotion, gift wrapped in moments that can never be taken away. This is the gold of life, sacred and priceless and nonexchangeable.

And if you think about it, our days are sort of like an equation. Things get added and things get taken away, and we are just trying to make it to a hundred percent. But what if a perfect score was not the goal? What if it didn't matter what the answer was, as long as it wasn't zero?

Here's the truth.

Life will make subtractions, big and small and anywhere in-between. And that's OK. Suffering is a part of life. I'm not sure that there is an answer for why suffering is that would satisfy my weary heart and erase the aftermath of pure, unfiltered pain. Pain may not have an answer, but it does ask a question:

What are you going to do about it?

Because the only thing to really do is to keep adding more to your life.

More joy, more hope, more love, more laughter. So that when subtractions come knocking on our door, our reserve is ready and in place and able to keep us afloat. It is far too easy to let our numbers slip into the negatives, to close ourselves off to the sweet, stickiness of life.

We are so afraid.

Afraid to add on more, because what if.

Let me tell you, that what if is never going to go away. Life will always be scary, messy, vulnerable in every possible way.

But we cannot give up.

We cannot let darkness win!!!

Numbers are INFINITE.

They can go on forever and ever, as long as we keep adding more to our equation.

Which means that even if you enter into the negatives, it's OK because there's always a way to go up from there. Keep holding on--it takes as long as it takes and will come to you when you're ready.

But the only real way to lose is if we stop living all together.

If we stop feeling.

Tempting though it may be, it is not the answer.

So, can you manage the pain?

Can you bear it enough to push your way through it?

Some days it will be easier than others.

It's not a contest.

And remember, it's personal.

But you can do it.

You can get through this.

It may be more painful than you could ever imagine.

And you may be burdened beyond recognition.

But your purpose is infinite. 

And your suffering matters.

So let it matter for good.

Let it change you, grow you into a person that appreciates more, settles for less.

Just don't let it harden you.

C.S. Lewis once said, "The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."

Don't create your own personal hell. 

That's the devil's job.

Don't beat him to it.

Let your pain have purpose.

Stop trying so hard to avoid it.

Go through it.

You aren't alone.

Pain is the common denominator.

And you don't have to solve for x!

Because the answer is yours, and yours alone.

But not yours alone to carry.

So go on.

Head towards infinity. 

I pray that hope will meet you there.

And that one day, you can add it on to someone else's equation.